Untreated, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can be significantly detrimental to one’s mental health and wellbeing. Fortunately, there are tools, resources, and professional services specialised in helping with recovery from PTSD.
Below Peter B. shares his personal story of how seeking professional support helped him learn ways to effectively manage the PTSD he experienced.
When you graduate out of the police academy, you’ve got the uniform on, you know, you’ve got all your equipment, you’re feeling 10 foot tall and bullet-proof, like you can achieve anything.
Three weeks out of the academy, 9.30 am there was a call out to a residence. When I got there, I caught a glimpse of somebody disappearing out the back of the house. I was about to jump over the fence and standing on the other side was a young guy with a gun pointing at me.
A few years ago, my son bought a car and we were driving down the road near the scene of the incident. All of a sudden, I started getting the shakes, and he’s going, ‘Dad, are you alright?', and I said, 'Uh, I was just having a flashback to when I had my first gun pulled on me.'
I’d first gone into the accident and investigation section in 1990, and everything was go, go, go. When the police are called to a road crash, you know, you’ve got to work out what’s happened, you’ve also then got to rehabilitate that scene. You know, you’re seeing firsthand people dying in your arms. There were a lot. There were 2,000 road fatalities all up, including deaths of police officers.
Some of the incidents I was thinking about happened 30 years ago. Even things like someone trying to intimidate me one night part way through giving evidence in a trial. And basically, the emotions of those events were sitting in my body all these years, and all of a sudden just started coming out.
Post traumatic stress disorder has been a helluva thing to have… it’s a daily fight. I went through a lot. I had a pretty high level of resilience and for the first 20 years of the job didn’t even know anything about it. I didn’t think anything about it. But the last 10 years were very, very hard.
PTSD felt like I was riding a massive wave. At the top of the wave is where you’re on the job and getting that anxiety or feeling hyper vigilance [racing thoughts, rapid breathing, and constant need to check surroundings]. Then you'd get to the post-job phase when you’re exhausted, emotional, and worn out. And over time I moved into a depressive state. I had problems with sleep, getting angry, and having difficulties with concentration and attention.
You do get some people, you know, when you start talking about PTSD and what it is that don’t necessarily believe it. There is that stigma. But they’re not with you overnight when you’re getting the shakes.
It can be a real struggle on some days, but you know if you get through that day the next day is normally okay.
You’ve just got to ride the humps and the bumps of the waves and say, 'Okay I’ve got through. I’ve had treatment and I've learned the tools and skills needed to manage it daily. I’m a survivor.'
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